Quotes from General Mark R. Naird:
And I knew there were going to be no presents under the tree that Christmas. So, Christmas morning, what did my dad do? My dad got down, and he crawled under the tree. And then my mom crawled under the tree. And then I crawled under the tree. And the three of us lay there, under the tree, presents to one another. Looking up at all those dead branches. And it was depressing. And awful. But still, within that, there was a beauty.
My dad, he used to say, "Mark, take the trash out. But don't just take it out. Put it in the trash can. And don't just put it in the can. Shove it to the bottom of the can. But don't just do that. You gotta put the lid on too, Mark. And you need to snap the lid tight to keep the critters out." He was a wise man.
Quotes from Dr. Adrian Mallory:
What do I tell him? "Hey, Captain Lancaster, you know the bone mass you lost traveling through space alone for nine months? Well, it was all for nothing. Enjoy your osteoporosis."
That's root beer without the complexity. That is a high-fructose people fattener. The preferred beverage in convalescent homes. There is a reason, Brad, it was rejected by the marketplace. That is a Twinkie in a liquid form. It is buttermilk passed through a baby's bottom.
Quotes from Dr. Chan Kaifang:
Underneath the titanium surface, he's filled with neon. Neon is a noble gas. I'm trying to say that Naird's a noble dude.
Why didn't anyone tell me? All these brainiacs, and nobody told me nobody uses emoticons anymore?
Quotes from many characters:
- F. Tony Scarapiducci: Ask him about Fan Bingbing. It's a famous Chinese actress. Fan Bingbing. He'll go crazy. Fan Bingbing.
- General Mark R. Naird: So, how about that Fan Bingbing? She's quite the actress.
- General Gao: She committed tax fraud. Our government does not condone that kind of behavior.
- General Mark R. Naird: Fan Bingbing must have been drinking too much Moutai.
- Dr. Adrian Mallory: You know, Mr. Chu in San Francisco is an old friend of mine.
- Dr. Chan Kaifang: The Chus? Like, the top Michelin Chinese restaurant in all of California?
- Dr. Adrian Mallory: We actually used to date, uh, but then he took the braised abalone off the menu, and I took the hint.?
- General Mark R. Naird: What's the erhu?
- Dr. Chan: A classic Chinese instrument. It's basically our version of the violin. Or, should I say, the violin is the bastardized Western version of our erhu.
- Captain Angela Ali: It's gorgeous. ? It's got two strings. It's made out of python skin.
- Brad Gregory: In America, when you tap the table, it's a sign you want the blackjack dealer to give you another card.
- Dr. Chan Kaifang: Yes, Brad. Every Chinese person's been to Vegas. It's our Mecca.
- Brad Gregory: Oh, well, except for the Muslim Chinese. 'Cause Mecca is their Mecca.
- F. Tony Scarapiducci: Sir, slow down. In China, they never discuss business right away.
- General Mark R. Naird: Copy that. Slow and steady wins the moon.
- General Mark R. Naird: How's prison going?
- Maggie Naird: You know, it's a lot like the military. It's structured. You get uniforms. And if you put in the time and effort, you assume a rank. You can go from being someone's bitch to a gang member.
F. Tony Scarapiducci: It's a start. Picture it for a second. Commander Lancaster lands on Mars, gets out, looks around, says, "One small step for man… Oh, what's this? One giant swig of the number three energy drink in the continental US."
I have seen in an interview in 35 years." I mean, how often does a person her age say she's not mature enough for college and won't apply until she's ready? Very smart and very self-aware. Someone like that will be a success in life, no matter what they do.