The world of investing can be a jungle. Bulls. Bears. Danger at every turn.
I was selling garbage to garbage men and making cash hand over fist. So I was selling them shit. But the way I looked at it, their money was better off in my pocket. I knew how to spend it better.
You want to know what money sounds like? Go to a trading floor on Wall Street. "Fuck" This, "Shit" That. "Cunt," "Cock," "Asshole."
You think about the people that built this country, hardworking people like you. Firefighters, teachers, FBI agents. End of the day, you guys get fucking skinned alive financially. It fucking makes me angry.
Think about it. You're dealing with numbers. All day long, decimal points, high frequencies. Fucking digits. All very acidic above-the-shoulders mustard shit. All right? It kind of wigs some people out. Right. You got to feed the geese to keep the blood flowing.
Let's go fucking run. Let's run like we're fucking lions and tigers and bears! Let's run! Let's fucking run! Let's fucking run! Go! Go, go, go, go!
I'm not gonna let someone else fuck my cousin. You know, if anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me, out of respect. You know?
The nice thing about getting rescued by Italians is that they feed you, make you drink red wine, then you get to dance.
Every person you're on the phone with, they want to get rich and they want to get rich quickly. They all want something for nothing. There was this one time that I was selling pot to this Amish dude.
I'm talking about normal people, working-class, everyday people. Everyone wants to get rich. Am I crazy? There's no such thing as an Amish Buddhist.
Gentlemen, welcome to Stratton Oakmont. You schnooks will now be targeting the wealthiest 1% of Americans. We're talking about whales here. Moby fucking Dicks. And with this script, which is now your new harpoon, I'm gonna teach each and every one of you to be Captain fucking Ahab.
-What if something like that happened?
-Basically, you know, if the kid was retarded, I would, you know, drive it up to the country and just, like, you know, open the door and say,"You're free now." You know, like, "Run free."
- I ordered sides, so...
-Sides? $26,000 worth of sides? What are these sides? They cure cancer?
-What kind of hooker takes credit cards?
-A rich one.
I mean, I tell you, our plane was like a pharmacy with wings.
You are lower than pond scum.
Are you behind on your credit card bills? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! Is your landlord ready to evict you? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! Does your girlfriend think you're a fucking worthless loser? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich! All you have to do today is pick up that phone and speak the words that I have taught you. And I will make you richer than the most powerful CEO in the United States of fucking America!