我就直说吧，我妈给我20块跟妳跳舞，你跳舞像个娘儿们。
Okay, out with it. My mother gave me 20 bucks to dance with you. Yeah, well, you dance like a pussy.
你不要一直拖下去，肉烤久了也会变干。
You don't want to wait too long. Forget meat on the grill, and it will dry out.
有时候妳的身体知道妳要什么。
Sometimes your body knows what you really want.
美国人就爱吃酱油，我得少吃点，免得把我宝宝养黑了。
Americans like soy sauce. I'm going to start eating less soy sauce...so it won't stain the baby too dark.
我的肚子会唱咏叹曲，还会念诗。
My stomach sings arias...spouts poetry, proofs.
听说上海有个规矩，挑女婿的时候，要看他吃大闸蟹的本事。
There's an old tradition in Shanghai. They pick their son-in-law based on his skill at extracting his crab meat.
- 妈，我爱妳，我也是同性恋。
- 怎么可以一口气说这两件事？一面说妳爱我，一面这样伤我的心。
- Ma. I love you. And I'm gay.
- How can you say those two things at once? How can you tell me you love me...then throw that in my face?
你一直认为这一切都是命中注定，可是假如你的父亲老主宰你的命运的话，那我最大的幸运就是把你从命运的枷锁里面解放出来。
You've said this is the way fate would have it, but if it is your fate to do your father's bidding...then it is my fate to try and undo yours.
吃顿好的，人生观都能改变。
Well, a full belly conquers all.
人哪，还得靠自己努力，懒人才会被命运牵着鼻子走。
Most people don't want to hear the truth until after lunch. Fate is for the lazy.