Crazy, Stupid, Love
2011

疯狂愚蠢的爱

Crazy, Stupid, Love (Original Title)

卡尔·韦弗(史蒂夫·卡瑞尔 Steve Carell 饰)人到中年,中年危机如约到来——妻子艾米丽(朱丽安·摩尔 Julianne Moore 饰)提出离婚,令他面对儿女不知所措。重回情场的卡尔发现自己已经脱离男欢女爱的时代了,幸而遇到泡妞高手雅各·帕尔默(瑞恩·高斯林 Ryan Gosling 饰),帮他重整行头...

2011年7月29日

- 你没事吧,看上去有点不在状态
- 没事,在想我想要什么
- 我也是,我们一起说吧,一二三,我想离婚。
- You okay? You seem a little off. 
- Yeah, I'm just trying to think about what I want.
- Yeah, me too. Why don't we just say it at the same time? One, two, three...I want a divorce.

- 我觉得我可能是中年危机
- 女人也会中年危机吗,电影里都是男人才有,然后买可笑的黄色保时捷。
- I think I'm having a midlife crisis, maybe. 
- Can women have midlife crises? In the movies it's always men having them and buying ridiculous yellow Porsches...

上星期,我告诉你得工作到很晚,其实是我自己去看了新的暮光之城电影,我不知道我为什么那么做,而且那样很不好,卡尔,而且我们没有在一起的感觉很久了,我不知道何时起我们在一起没感觉了。
Last week, when I told you that I had to work late...I went to see the new Twilight movie by myself. I don't know why I did that. And it was so bad, Cal. And we haven't been us. Not for a long time. And I don't know when you and I stopped being us.

你知道有个不再常用的词吗?绿帽男,我就是绿帽男,大卫·林哈根给我戴绿帽子,他睡了我老婆,而我毫不知情,那就是戴绿帽的定义,我以为生活本该如此,结婚生子买房,我得到了什么,绿帽子一顶。
You know a word that is not used very often anymore? "Cuckold." I'm a cuckold. David Lindhagen cuckolded me. He slept with my wife. And I didn't know about it. And that is the definition of cuckoldom. Thought I did everything right. Got married, had kids, the house. What do I get for it? I get cuckolded.

卡尔,能把吸管从嘴里移开吗,拜托,谈话时候别叼着就行,看起来像你在嘬小鸡鸡。
Cal, would you take that straw out of your mouth? Please. It's just for the conversation. You know. That looks like you're sucking on a tiny schwantz.

你到处游荡,拿你那堆失败呜咽的伤心事纠缠别人,你顶着一头便宜的发型坐在那,像十四岁小姑娘一样喝掺水的,伏特加红加仑子到酩酊大醉,还在本该穿四十二号的身上,套了一身四十四号的衣服,说实话,不知道该帮你还是把你安乐死。卡尔,你有张善良的脸,头发也很浓密,人看上去很好,我想帮你重拾男人自信,我们要找回它。
You're going around and you're badgering people with this sad-sack loser sob story. You're sitting there with a Supercuts haircut...getting drunk on watered-down vodka cranberries like a 14-year-old girl...and you're wearing a 44 when you should be wearing a 42 regular. Honestly, I don't know if I should help you or euthanize you. Cal, you got a kind face. You got a good head of hair. You seem like a nice guy. I wanna help you. I'm gonna help you rediscover your manhood. We're gonna find it.

尝试点新事物还是很有必要的,哪怕是你过去从来没想过的事。
And it's important to try new things. Even things that you haven't considered trying before.

你是乔布斯吗?你是拥有苹果公司的亿万富翁吗?不是,那你就没有资格穿新百伦的胶底运动鞋。
Are you Steve Jobs? Are you the billionaire owner of Apple Computers? you got no right to wear New Balance sneakers ever.

卡尔,别再穿Gap了,超越Gap。
Cal, be better than the Gap.Be better than the Gap.

我十五岁时遇到了我的灵魂伴侣,自从我给她买了薄荷巧克力脆片甜筒之后,我生命中的每一分每一秒都爱着她,她给我生了三个完美的孩子之后我爱着她,甚至在我恨过她之后我还爱着她,只有已婚夫妇才会理解这条。
I met my soul mate when I was 15 years old...and I have loved her every minute of every day...since I first bought her that mint chocolate chip cone. I have loved her through the birth of my three perfect children. I have loved her even when I've hated her. Only married couples will understand that one.

这一年真不容易,是,是有几段小插曲,没错,我真正想说的是,我还是很开心你给我买了那个冰激凌。It's been a really hard year. Yeah, there were a couple little blips, I guess. Really what I want to say...is that I'm still glad you bought me that ice cream.

没人想要独自一人
心有了归宿 
跳动就喜悦不已要是它无家可归
它可以来我心里
那我爱的可以是你
你渴望的可以是我
我想要的可以是你
Nobody wants to be alone 
The heart beats happy when it has a place
And if it doesn't have a home
It can come into my space
So you can be the one I love 
I can be the one you long for
You can be the one I want

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